SPUNTINO

I know this is akin to swearing in church, but those zeitgeist-y tapas bars get right on my t...ts. Squished in unwelcome intimacy with fellow diners, you are privy to their conversation, too familiar with the shape of their elbows, and you end up playing some version of a Victorian parlour game as you try to spot which dishes are yours and which theirs. OK, the food is nice, but who are they kidding?  They may model their interior on a cool, no-frills Barcelona zinc bar where you drink at leisure, grazing as you go, but in London the frenetic drive for turnover means a visit to, say, Brindisa is as relaxing as colonic irrigation. As soon as you perch your bum on a swivel stool, there is a pressure to order food - and quickly, with staff impervious to the 'I'm just drinking now, so piss off' look. 

So Spuntino - not Spanish but Italian tapas; tucked between Soho sex shops it is easy to miss. Yes, it has a zinc bar, a kind of East Village feel, and hipster staff, but crucially we arrive at an unfashionable 5pm when there is a choice of seats. Admittedly we are asked to order food a nano second after the wine glasses hit the deck, but my 'piss off' look seems to work this time.  When we are ready, we order fried, crunchy olives, spicy sausages with polenta,  pulled pork and apple slider - it is all pretty good. 

So the key to a chilled out experience is to choose your time wisely; or be prepared to order quickly, eat up and bugger off...

Spuntino - 61 Rupert Street, Soho, London, W1D7PW